Start Up Nation. Is that what we’re called? When it comes to
ingenious inventions in medicine and high tech, yes. When it comes to basic
services, we are, well, just starting up and have a long way to go.
I’ve written about
the post office services (Doar) many times. Some of my most frustrating moments
as on olah have originated here. In fact, they continue. One day I will write
about Ra’anana’s newly improved Doar. The newest place to pick up parcels is a
gas station but the address is hidden on the post office card. To add insult to
injury, we receive notification before the
package arrives just so we have to come back (fill up with the tank with gas
while you’re there if you can find the place).
So now it’s time to report on Bezek, Israel’s national phone
company. Over the years, we have been so frustrated with
the phone company, we no longer have a land line and just use our cell phone.
But, the internet is still entwined with Bezek and, as I just found out, our broken alarm line is a Bezek line.
Here are some rules when dealing with Bezek:
When you first call, you’ll hear a reassuring recorded song
that says you have reached Bezek, Ahi Tov
BaBayit – they are telling you that Bezek is the ‘best in the house’ and
that you’ll be looked after like you’re family. Don’t buy into this.
You’ll then be asked to select a language. 1. Hebrew 2.
Arabic 3. Russian 4. English. Do not press 4.
The English system takes you deep into selecting various
services and when you feel like you’re actually getting somewhere, it stops
working and disconnects you.
If you do get to the end of the complex web of
selecting services and then wait half an hour for a real live person, a Hebrew
speaker will come on the phone. As soon as you say something in English they
tell you they’ll connect you to an English speaker but never ever do. It would take less time to learn a few words
of Arabic or Russian if you want to get service.
They don’t want to talk to you. It’s so complicated to get
to a live person, you would rather retreat to a phoneless cave dwelling than
deal with this service. They try to
convince you that you should try their self-automated service where the
computer will check your line and you can correct the problem on your own. Really? I made the mistake of getting gnarled in this once. Useless.
They then try to convince you that you don’t really want to
spend your valuable time waiting for a live person and listening to the Ahi Tov
BaBayit song a hundred times over. You would rather be on the beach, right?
They convince you to leave your number and then someone will get back to you. It may
take 12 hours for this to happen or it may not happen. Ever. Or, you may be at
the beach and miss the Bezek call. G-d forbid.
Do not call Bezek from your car on a hot day. Sitting in the
car waiting for my daughter, I decided to call Bezek. I took a deep breath and
did the number acrobatics, pressing 1 and 2
and 3 and 1 and 2 and 2 and 2 and then waiting and waiting. A live
person came on the phone and actually spoke a few words of English. I was
getting somewhere!
When I was about to order a technician, my iphone went dead
and sent me this message: ‘iphone needs to cool down before you can use it.’ I
needed to cool down before I started all over again. Did Bezek call me back to
finish the order? Still waiting.
Do not call Bezek when your cell phone charge is low. It
takes so long to get Bezek service, I saw my phone drain from 53% to 1%. I was
at the point where the woman on the line was verifying my address and giving me
a service date. I warned her I was at 1%. She had my cell number. Click. My phone
died. Did Bezek call me back to finish
the order? Still waiting.
When the technician comes, get his name and number. Why,
might you ask? Our first technician who came said the line was working fine and this was not a Bezek problem but a smart house problem. He left. Smart house
guy said it was not his problem and the alarm guy said it was not his problem and that I need an additional Bezek phone line. In reality, the technician must have been dozing in my electrical cupboard - read on to see why.
Bezek loves to sell you new phone lines. Do not buy them!
The woman on the phone said to me, “Come home to Bezek. We treat you right.”
She actually said that (she was the one with whom I lost connection when my phone died). Guess
she did not want me home so badly.
So the new Bezek guy comes to install the second line and
asks where the first phone line is. I
shrug my shoulders. I see a number on a bill that I pay for monthly. I explain
that it must be somewhere in the house, probably in the cupboard where the first guy went, the one who said the line was working.
“Which technician was here? What’s his name?” the technician
drills me.
“Well you work for Bezek. Can’t you find out?”
He looks at me as if I’m crazy. “No.”
With all the high tech recording of phone calls and computers, you think
one Bezek arm would know what the other arm is doing. Nope.
Don’t trust that the technician knows what he is doing.
Turns out the original technician futzed around in an electrical cupboard where
there was no phone line and then left saying all was ok. The second technician
discovered that the real problem was a Bezek internet router that was upstairs.
Could he fix it? No. I need an electrician for that!
Watch out – you may get a technician even if you don’t order
one – and never at the times specified.
My broken phone line saga has been going on for over a
month. Just last night I received a text message from Bezek saying a technician
was coming today between 2pm and 4pm. This time I did not order a
technician. The message also said that if I was not
home at the time of service, there would be a penalty.
Begrudgingly I was back on the phone with
Bezek entering a nightmarish web of pressing 1s and 2s and 1 and 3s and then waiting for a live person. What happened to the good ole days of pressing 0 and getting an operator?
The woman on the phone did not apologize but admitted it was a
mistake. But one Bezek arm does not talk to the other. What was I thinking? And guess what?
My cell phone just rang. Guess who? The Bezek technician who
I did not order is at my house right now (and I am 200 kms away) and he is mad
that I’m not home. He is also there three hours early. It’s a mistake, I
explain. I told him I notified the office but he insists that he should be there and that I ordered the service.
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| Would you trust a technician who looked like this? |
Can’t wait for the next Bezek bill. The technician who said
it was an electrical issue assured me he would cancel the new phone line and
the installation charge. Doubt that ever
happened. Bezek will be charging me for one line that does not work and cannot be fixed and one new
line that was never installed.
Bezek. Ahi Tov
BaBayit!
May we have a year of not sweating the small stuff, of
laughing when life gets ridiculous and of knowing we can head to the beach, a
cave or a forest when the going gets tough. If none of the above work, take up
Russian.
Shana Tova from the starting up nation
