It’s so refreshing to be sitting
in the sunshine. Being inside for so
long, I’m now aware of small details that I don’t always notice: soft fresh air, beaming spring flowers, birds gliding from tree to tree, moving
about with no restrictions. All seemingly carefree.
Just waking up feeling healthy
and able to embrace a new day is now a palpable blessing.
There have been so many restrictions
put in place here in Israel – each day a new proclamation comes out. As of this
writing, it is prohibited to leave your home unless you are buying food or items
at a pharmacy or heading out to do ‘legitimized’ work.
You must now go out with
a face mask and gloves and stay two meters from people. As my family does not even own
masks, I will have to be inventive as soon as I finish writing this.
Just yesterday morning, a ruling
came out restricting weddings of more than ten people. Previously, tiny
weddings were allowed here. For the seven-week period between Pesach and Shavuot, weddings are not celebrated in accordance with Jewish custom.
Our friends’ son was engaged
to be married this June. Given the challenging COVID-19 situation and the inability
to predict what will be, he and his fiance did not know if they would be able
to have their wedding at that time. They had already rented a hall and the
guest list was completed, the bride had excitedly selected her dream wedding dress
and the seamstress was sewing it. Family from abroad had planned to fly in to
celebrate. It was all ‘b’simcha’ as they say here – as all weddings should be.
However, about a week ago we were
informed that the wedding would now be on April 5th. The couple had decided
that they did not want to deal with uncertainty and would instead have a small outdoor
wedding, with only ten guests, in accordance to the regulations. We were happy to be invited.
Earlier this week, rumors of additional
restrictions were circulating. Soon there would be no more weddings until further
notice.
On Tuesday evening at 6:30pm my
friend, the mother of the groom, was contemplating having an early night curled
up with a book when she got the call.
“Mom, looks like they'll prohibit all weddings starting tomorrow so we’re planning on getting married tonight. The wedding's at 10pm.”
With three hours to make a beautiful
wedding for her son, adrenalin kicked in. As for the bride, she had three precious
hours to find a dress, go to the mikvah and do her makeup and hair. They would also
need to get the ketuba (the marriage contract) ready, find a chupah and call a photographer.
My creative friend set to
work placing candles and flowers, whatever she could grab from home, in the
outdoor area. They found a long white cloth to drape down as an aisle and sprinkled
flower petals along it. A local violinist came and positioned himself above, plucking
his strings as a true fiddler on the roof.
Lone guests appeared from the
darkness as if the wind had blown them in. The beaming groom came in and no one
could hug him. He stood alone, waiting. His mother arrived and desperately
tried to reach one son who lived in another city but there was no answer. He
would not know about the wedding until it was over. Another brother was on a video
call ready to watch the ceremony.
The guests wore face masks
and gloves and did their best to stand apart from each other. We waited with
excitement for the bride.
The rabbi arrived with a huge
smile on his face and the two witnesses came forward to sign the ketuba.
The fiddler suddenly changed
tunes – he had a bird’s eye view from his eyrie and could see the bride
approaching along the deserted street.
She entered, accompanied by
the groom’s father and walked down the aisle, her long white train swishing
behind her. The couple stood under the chupah and the ceremony quickly began. She
circled the groom, men were called up to say the sheva brachot, a ring was exchanged,
a ketuba read, wine was sipped by the couple and the glass smashed.
“Mazal Tov!” shouted the
rabbi. One of the more nervous guests piped up, “Now everyone, please run home.
You can have a festive meal in your house to celebrate this marriage. Say the
sheva brachot in honor of this beautiful couple. Good night and be well.”
The violinist packed up his
instrument. The candles had already been blown out by the wind. The lone guests
left one by one, crossing the desolate street, footsteps echoing into emptiness
until they were enveloped into the thick, black night.
This lovely young couple had extracted
the essence of a wedding and we were their witnesses. They had created the sweetness
and beauty of a marriage much like a perfumer designs a scent from flower
essences.
This requires bravery and
humility; so many of us are caught up in what a wedding should ‘look like,’ we have
forgotten what a wedding essentially is.
They were married by a rabbi
under a chupah. They made a pledge to be there for each other. And they carried
a signed ketubah to their new home, ready to begin a ‘Bayit Ne’eman b’Israel.’
Due to the circumstances and
to their commitment to be married, they forfeited the printed invitations, the party
planner, the florist, the caterer, the band, the videographer, the dessert table,
the dancing, the center pieces, the specially designed wedding dress, the manicurist,
the bride’s maids plus having their best friends and close family members
there.
This is one wedding that I
will never forget. These times are forcing us to reframe and to realize that we
really can exist with less.
We all need health, love and connection to thrive and when we understand this, we can have
more meaning in our lives. When the extraneous is peeled away, we see the
shining gem beneath.
Mazal Tov to Yael and Alex!
Thanks for bringing so much light
into the darkness.
