War Day 54 and Life Still Surreal

November is normally my favorite month in Israel. It is a time of cooling, of nourishing showers accompanied by rainbows crowning sparkling skies. And finally, tiny green newborn growth pokes up beside its parched yellow elders. 

In contrast, November was my cruelest month in Canada with its retinue of dead fallen leaves, killer frost, and dreary skies. 

To fully appreciate this new growth and transformation, I am usually outside in the garden most days. November is the month to plant bulbs, spread spring wild flower seeds, and plant winter veggies. I plant and I weed, I weed and I plant. And I harvest!

I still hear the screeching jets overhead and often panic when I hear a drone close by at night. Is this ours? Why is it so close to our houses? My imagination swirls until sleep finally comes. 

The war continues. There is now an extension to the ceasefire to facilitate further hostage exchanges. Calling this a ‘prisoner exchange’ somehow equalizes the two sides. How can one equate three Palestinian prisoners, many of whom are attempted murderers to one Israeli civilian who was sleeping in the supposed safety of their own bed?

Such is the insanity of this world. And the more it shows its true colors, especially internationally with the anti-semitic gloves torn off, the more gratitude I have to be living here in Israel. This is the only home Jews have, and although we were politically comatose with a paralyzed army on October 7, we are now wide awake. 

With images of those kidnapped children and brutally murdered civilians in their hearts and minds, our soldiers have been so strong and motivated. We just need our weak government to let them fully destroy the evil.

My sweet son-in-law, who is an awesome husband, father, and physiotherapist, is still in the army, far away from his loving and comfortable home. He sleeps in a tent that is flooded in the rain and freezes during cold nights. He eats army food, sleeps little, and misses his Shabbats at home so, so much. My daughter tries her best to hold it together at home and at work, and the children see their Abba each night as he stands outside in uniform in the dark speaking on a video call. Yet duty calls.

Today is Day 54 and life still feels surreal. My emotions sway as the events change; hope, despair, hope, anger, hope, ineptitude. Fear, fear, fear. It is emotionally exhausting. In the midst of this chaos, my son Shaya became engaged to Tzofia, to the surprise of us all. 

They are so happy together; it is a breath of fresh air to see a young couple getting married and starting a new Jewish home in Israel. They are not waiting and want the wedding right away. The hall is booked and invitations are out. We do not know what the situation in the north will be, but will go ahead and pray for the best. 

Women are also giving birth as life must go on. Many are naming their babies Be’eri and Oz after the kibbutzim where people were massacred. This is bitter sweet. And now, hostages and their families are being reunited. We read their stories, cry with joy, and try to feel that dark pain. But the living nightmares expereinced both by families and their kidnapped loved ones is truly unfathomable.

As this surreal and often scary life goes on, we have no way of knowing what will happen next. I truly believe our destiny is in Hashem’s hands. 

We must do our very best on a micro scale; think positively, see and appreciate tiny and huge miracles, pray - and most importantly, celebrate happy life events when they happen.